Day 1 AKA Groundhog Day

Day 1

I really did start today, and despite temptation looming around every corner, it really is so far so good.

Although, the day was not without incident.
I had to do some DIY today, nothing too serious just a bit of drilling. Of course I had a 'Helpful' Bystander, because what DIY project would be complete without one of those?

Scene 1:

'Helpful' Bystander: You're quite flexible considering...
Me: Considering what?

'Helpful Bystander': I wasn't being funny, just saying, you're flexible considering your size.
Me: Ah yes, my size, well I am one of the lucky one's you know. When people get as fat as me they are usually punished by loosing the ability to bend over...
Helpful Bystander: Well you do have a lot of [WARNING: TERRIBLE INTRUSIVE MOVE ABOUT TO HAPPEN] excess round the middle...

And with that, 'Helpful Bystander' actually grabbed a roll of flab around my stomach.

A FLAB GRABBER!

I couldn't believe it, the indignity. There in no acceptable reason for grabbing someone wlse's flab, none. Now obviously I know 'Helpful Bystander' very well so I didn't want to make a scene but I am so cross! Who grabs someone else's flab? Hands off, that's mine, it's taken me 20 years of almost constant eating to get where I am, if you want flab to grab - get your own! And anyway there was a doughnut tucked in there for later....

Day -12 Years Age 15

I'm a size 14, which must have looked enormous compared to my classmates as most were a 6 or 8 with the odd 10 thrown in for good measure. I really tried my best to pick school clothes that would be flattering, since year 8 I'd been getting called names such as 'tree trunk legs', 'thunder thighs' and 'hamster face.' But today, today something was said that added a whole new dimension to my body image. It was all thanks to Michael M - yes him again.
I was in maths walking past the boys desks, obviously they all sat together at the back, when Micheal M piped up: " Well you know what they said lads: More belly, more boobs!"
I was horrified, yet oddly thrilled.

I pondered on this phrase the whole weekend long, and the following weekend went and bought an item of clothing that changed my body image for years to come... A little something called a 'Wonderbra!' If it's boobs they want, I thought to myself, then it's boobs they will get!

Day 1

FLAB GRABBERS: Remember - it's not pretty, it's not funny but most of all it's not yours!