Day -1 And still counting

Day -1
I'm feeling rather apprehensive about tomorrow.
I'm also salivating at the thought of the Easter Eggs that I've had put so far out of reach I'd need to bring a ladder in to get them. And yes, I have tried this strange technique which is a mix of out of sight out of mind, and look at us we're up here, find us, open us, eat us, before and ended up with Easter Egg on my face. Note to oneself: Sellotaping wooden spoons together does not reach the back, of the top of, the cupboard, and sellotaping wooden spoons together with a fork on the end just makes for a fork in the eye. Yet strangely I'm not put off.
Speaking of Easter Eggs....

Day -14 I've bought all my Easter Eggs now, I'll put them in the wardrobe, forget they are there and that's a job well done.

Day -13 3/4 Easter Eggs, that's alright I'll just get another one tomorrow.

Day -12 2/4 Easter Eggs, Oh dear, I said I wasn't going to do this again this year, I should have left it later to buy them.

Day -11 0/4 Easter Eggs left.

Day -4 years, age 23.

My mum has been ages in the changing room of a very posh and expensive ladies clothes shop. This shop only goes up to a size 14 so I'm hanging around trying not to look too out of place. It's so embarrassing being 4 sizes bigger than the biggest size this shop offers. I spot a comfortable chair and set up camp, DRINKING WATER! My mum looks beautiful in the dress she's picked for my graduation, so we decide to leave. That's my mum, her new dress, myself and.... oh... I appear to be carrying some excess baggage... the chair I was/am still sitting on but now sitting on in an upright position.
I admit I've had a few close calls over the years, with chairs that is. I know at my hairdressers there are certain seats I must avoid for fear of becoming a permanent fixture. I know that deckchairs can also create trouble should I decided not to teeter on the end and go for the full recline. But never, no never, have I ever before got stuck in a chair. Not until today. Am I fat?

Day -1 Wish me luck for tomorrow, I think I'm going to need it.