Day -2

It's -2 Days and counting.
Monday looms once again.
The first day of the rest of my life, the last day I will ever weigh enough to anchor HSM ALLYOUCANEAT. My local newsagent has already started liquidation proceedings, it will be sad to see him go out of business but there really is only so many bags of Malteesers one woman can eat.
(Did that come across with conviction?)
I shall say it again, there REALLY IS ONLY SO MANY BAGS.... Pah! Who am I kidding?

-11 years
Age 8.
I'm sat on the floor in the classroom, my teacher is reading a book about a Whale. Micheal M has a new nickname for me: Blubber. I don't know what Blubber is, Michael B is soon quick to tell me, I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. Am I fat?

-2 Days
And so begins Confessions of a Fat Lass.... see you tomorrow.